How did this happen? When did it happen? Suddenly everywhere I turn I see man buns. Men are walking down city streets, sitting in coffee shops, riding the subway to work with their hair up in little ballet dancer buns.
You thought I was talking about their behinds, didn’t you? No, I’m referring to the troubling men’s hair style that’s recently taken over the pages of magazines and now spilled out into real life.
Clearly, we were not paying attention when men starting carrying around messenger bags. Sure they’re big and boxy and “unisex” but make no mistake, they are purses. If we’d put a stop to the messenger bags when we had the chance, maybe we wouldn’t be dealing with all these man buns now.
I’ll go out on a limb here and publicly state that I do not like the man bun. I barely liked pony tails on men. Once in a while, just the right pony tail on just the right guy could be sort of badass. Think Johnny Depp, for example. But no man will ever look badass with a man bun. I guarantee it.
I worry what’s next. Men wearing nail polish? I’m surprised some marketing genius hasn’t already thought of it. They could call it “male polish” and all they’d have to do is rename the shades in language men understand. The darkest shade could be called Guinness. A silvery metallic would become Chrome Wrench. And any of the red shades could be renamed NASCAR Red.
All this sounds ridiculous, huh? That’s the point.