Girl Talk


Recently, I wrote about the benefits of taking an Epsom salt bath in a blog post about self-care.  I’m still on a self-care kick and my latest attempt has involved a new DIY pedicure treatment.  Sidebar here: a few years ago, one of my DIY pedicures landed me in the emergency room, the heel of my right foot a bloody mess from using a callous remover that bore an alarming resemblance to a cheese slicer.  This time around, I tried a safer method that promised to not only rid me of my callouses, but to leave my feet as soft and soothe as a baby’s.  I know what you’re thinking.  What a sucker!

In my defense, I read about this product in a reputable magazine, and the gals on one of the morning talk shows raved about its dramatic results.  A couple of late-night clicks on my laptop, and a few days later it magically arrived on my front porch.  What could go wrong?

The directions seemed simple enough.  You slip your feet into plastic booties filled with a clear gelatinous substance and you don’t move for an hour.  Then you slowly slosh and wobble your way to the bathroom, grateful you haven’t fallen flat on your back, and gingerly step into the bathtub.

One at a time, you remove the botties, and rinse the goo off your feet.  Then you do nothing, but wait.  Really, nothing.  In fact, the directions are very clear about this.  You can soak your feet.  You can apply lotion.  But you are not to use any other products.  Because in 5 to 7 days your feet will begin to peel.  That’s right, you’ll start molting like a lizard.

Day 5, my feet look no different.  Same on Day 6.  And on Day 7, I’m still waiting.  How could a product that melts my toe nail polish do nothing to rid me of my alligator heels? 

Then on Day 8, I see a few flakey spots.  More the next day.  And the shedding is underway.

Day 11 – my feet aren’t fit to be viewed by human eyes.  There’s dead skin everywhere – on my floors, in my bed, and don’t ask what’s inside my socks.  The directions for this miracle product warn the process could last up to two weeks.  I’m tempted to use the cheese slicer callous remover that resulted in a trip to the emergency room.  On Day 12 my feet look so gross I soak them in scalding water and feverishly scrub them with a nail brush, swearing I will never do this again.

Day 14 – Cue the harp music.  The miracle has occurred.  My feet are so velvety smooth I want to go barefoot.  Walk in the sand.  Dance in a field of wild flowers.  I settle for wearing strappy sandals to work.

In the end, was it worth it?  Yup.  Would I do it again?  You betcha.



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