Insomnia. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. There’s nothing so hopeless as being awake at two or three in the morning. You get up and walk around the room and that doesn’t help. So you get back in bed and try to be still and breathe evenly, and that doesn’t help. You turn the clock toward the wall so you can’t see how late it is. You don’t read because it will stimulate your brain. You don’t eat because it will stimulate your body. It’s times like this you wish you knew how to knit.
Your scalp is itchy. The bottoms of your feet are itchy. Your whole body is itchy. You think about everything that’s gone wrong. You think about all the things you should be doing. You are doomed to think and think and think.
Did you send that important email before you left work?
You didn’t make the kids’ lunch for school tomorrow.
It’s fall now, you need to get the windows washed…
Then the room begins to brighten. The sun is coming up. You get out of bed, go over to the window and open the blinds. You made it through the night. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe you will be so tired later, because you’ve been up for nearly 24 hours straight, that by the end of the day you will collapse in a heap in your bed. You will sleep and it will be deep and sound and satisfying. This is what you think until night comes again.